DISCLAIMER: Since this photo was taken, I've gotten Botox, so I can only look ~91.3% as sincerely joyful.

CliffsNotes version (RESUME)

Currently debating what I put down here and what I bring to this week's therapy session...

Over-achieving only child who's passionate about writing and creating. Worked in Los Angeles putting words in other people's mouths for television and stage. (Yes, she knows the Sprouse twins. She called Donald Glover's meteoric rise to fame back in 2010. Being in Dolly Parton's presence is the closest she's been to God.)

Feeling that the networks' notes on her writing lacked thorough criticism, she made her way back home to Washington, D.C. to work for her mother at ZCOMM. There, she honed her hawkish PR and marketing skills while managing the team as Vice President. Every night after work, she tunneled a little further out of the office, hiding the hole with a Chad Michael Murray poster. After what seemed like the longest three years of her life, she was granted asylum at ICF where she currently works as a creative content strategist and copywriter.